I tell myself I buy movies for the art. The direction. The historical context.
But sometimes? A slipcover hits my eye like a laser and I forget what taste even is.
Slip Wars is a late-night drafting format where I pit two versions of myself against each other. This is Me vs. the part of me that thinks anything with killer art, bold colors, synth vibes, or cursed retro energy deserves shelf space. One side wants legacy cinema. The other is Slipcover Goblin Me—a creature of impulse, vibes, and questionable choices. It wants to live inside a haunted Suncoast.
Let the battle begin.
Round 1
Grounded Me: Arrow Video – Black Sunday (Above)
Classic gothic horror. Refined. Timeless. Barbara Steele’s face should be carved on Mount Horrormore. This is horror film school material—moody, black-and-white, Italian atmosphere. You sip this one.
Slipcover Goblin Me: Vinegar Syndrome – Night Screams
It glows. It pops. It looks like a haunted mall sign. I don’t even know if the movie’s finished. Could be 30 minutes of static and a guy whispering “blood.” Don’t care. Bought it the second I saw the slipcover. Night Screams brain activated.
Round 2
Grounded Me: Second Sight – The Babadook (UHD Slipcase)
Heavy, emotional, actually scary. Prestige horror that punches you in the ribs and then hugs you while you cry. The packaging has weight—both literal and psychological.
Slipcover Goblin Me: AGFA + Bleeding Skull – The McPherson Tape
Looks like a lost tape from a cable access exorcism. Found footage UFO vibes, wrapped in a slip that looks like an alien tried to design a rave flyer in MS Paint. Irresistible. Possibly haunted. In the cart before I finished reading the title.
Round 3
Grounded Me: Criterion – Rosemary’s Baby
A masterpiece. Subtle. Iconic. The kind of film you analyze in hushed tones while holding a glass of something aged. Essential horror. Respectable horror. This feels like it should be stored in a museum vault.
Slipcover Goblin Me: Visual Vengeance – Slaughter Day
Shot-on-video chaos from the depths of VHS hell. The slip looks like a Megadeth bootleg and maybe smells like bong water. Bought it entirely for the color on the front. No notes.
Round 4
Grounded Me: Umbrella Entertainment – Pulse
Moody Japanese dread. Slow, existential, beautiful. That cover? Minimalist brilliance. You feel smarter just owning it. You definitely reference it in conversations where you pretend to be emotionally stable.
Slipcover Goblin Me: Vinegar Syndrome – Rad
Technically a sports movie. Spiritually a religious experience. That lenticular neon slip made me believe in BMX cults and synth-fueled destiny. Bought it like I was possessed. It doesn’t belong in this list and that’s why it’s perfect.
Round 5
Grounded Me: Criterion – Picnic at Hanging Rock
Elegant, haunting, historical. A prestige release for when you want your shelf to look like it reads. It whispers of mystery and colonial guilt. Feels like it should be unwrapped while wearing lace gloves.
Slipcover Goblin Me: Visual Vengeance – Moonchild
The slip looks like a vaporwave screensaver had a baby with a trapper keeper. The font alone made me black out and hit “buy.” No clue what it’s about—could be teen angst, could be cosmic worms. Doesn’t matter. It’s mine now.
The Final Draft Board
Grounded Me:
- Black Sunday
- The Babadook
- Rosemary’s Baby
- Pulse
- Picnic at Hanging Rock
Slipcover Goblin Me:
- Night Screams
- The McPherson Tape
- Slaughter Day
- Rad
- Moonchild
Winner?
One list is classic horror canon (and Picnic at Hanging Rock). The other is a warped shelf of aesthetic chaos and regret-proof impulse buys.
Slipcover Goblin Me always wins. Taste is a trap. Holographic foil is truth.
